Sinking in Water (Joni)

On Tues, my sister invited me (and my son) to go to "town". She had an appointment and thought we could stop at the library afterwards. It's unseasonably cold here in Wisconsin which makes playing outside (for even a short amount of time) difficult. Unless, of course, you enjoy not being able to feel your face. 😆  In all seriousness, we limit our time outdoors when frostbite is possible after only minutes of exposure to the elements. So a trip to the library was in order. The problem was I didn't want to go.

Last Sunday, I faced a similar problem. I knew I needed to go to church - to be surrounded by fellow Christians, worship through singing and hearing the Word preached. But I didn't want to go. Hubby was sick and needed to stay home. That meant that I would need to take the kids. Alone. I honestly wasn't sure I *could*. My heart has been hurting. Healing is still a work in progress. Lots of tough things.

We decided I would take the kids to the church my parents attend. We used to attend there and knew we would see some familiar faces too. The service ended and we took turns chatting and catching up with a few people. One of those familiar faces was a lady that I had known but had not had many conversations with while in attendance. She came up to greet me and we began to converse. In the middle of the conversation, somewhat randomly, she stated that she remembered one specific thing about me. She had gone through a dark time in her life and she said she always remembered that I would smile at her. She stated that it had helped her and meant a lot to her. My eyes began to well up with tears. She then referenced the Biblical account of Peter walking on the water.

If you aren't familiar with the account, Jesus was walking on the water. His disciples were in a boat, on the water, and saw Him. Jesus called to Peter, one of the disciples, and told him to get out of the boat. Peter obeyed. He began to walk toward Jesus but then he became afraid and took his eyes off of Jesus. That's when he began to sink. Jesus reached out and grabbed Peter's hand. He pulled him up out of the water and asked him why Peter doubted (you can read Matthew 14:22-33 for the whole account). 

This sweet lady looked at me and said "How about you?" Has He lifted you up out of the water or are you sinking? My tears began to run. She had no idea that we were (still are) going through a rough time. I told her we are in the water and it feels deep. She gave me a hug. She had no idea how her words would minister to my soul.

I was raised going to church every week. I was taught to read my Bible. I've been reminded over and over again that God is faithful. I have seen and experienced God's faithfulness and love. Yet somehow in the middle of life's trials I lose sight of those very things. Like Peter, I want to obey the Lord. I trust Him. I know He is there and will catch me. Yet somehow, when I am (metaphorically) called to get out of the boat and walk on the water toward my Savior in complete trust, I struggle in the same way Peter did. I want to obey. I want to trust completely. I know He is there and will help me. But it's so easy to take my eyes off of the Lord, look at my circumstances and begin to sink. The water begins to rise. The fear increases. The doubt creeps in. But Jesus is there ready and waiting. He hasn't left me. As a matter of fact, He has been there the whole time. Hands outstretched and waiting to lift me out of the water.

Are you in the thick of it too? Dear friend, God has not left you. He has not forgotten you. Rather, He is right there with you through everything that you are going through and waiting with an outstretched hand to lift you out of the water too. You are not alone!

A simple smile. My smile. God used my smile to bless someone else. But ultimately, the blessing returned to me in the form of a sweet reminder of God's faithfulness, love and care for me on a day when I needed it most.

Growing in Hope,  

~Joni

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